Journal

No. 001 // Say No to Ghosting

Sigh. Let’s start there. I’m confused, broken, uhmm. Just blah. I’ll be writing as it comes to me. Sounds and all. But I’m tired. I’m tired of the normalization of ghosting culture, too big to talk mentality. It’s sad and when you think about it—it’s disgusting. I’m tired of men who enter women’s lives to up and disappear. It’s scary. I pride myself on being strong and being in control of granting myself freedom to date or experience things with no boundaries. However, through it all I find myself encountering men who are unavailable yet available.

Men who know they are not there to do anything but engage in the act of pursuing someone or entertaining someone. This in no way means you can’t pursue people but be honest. I don’t know how many times it has to said but honestly unfortunately WOMEN DON’T HAVE FUCKING TIME. Whether that’s time for bullshit, dishonesty, foolery, heartache, or confusion. I’m going to narrow it down more so to the confusion part. I’m so done with men who feel like inconsistency is a norm and unfortunately we have to get better at weeding it out or tolerating it. So we shame women for feeling, using their head while trying to make sense of why John has left Sara in a gray space. I’m a firm believer that things have to make sense.

In the words of Cardi B, make it make sense! How about we get better at being honest decent men. Don’t tell people you like them and do the opposite. It’s backwards, absurd, and it’s not stand up. I’m also over this idea that we must remind men that they too have sisters or one day become fathers so they should treat women better because they will find themselves rubbing the shoulder and wiping the tears of the women they hold near and dear. I’m not trying make this a race thing. However, this is based on my experience and I only have and will date black men. But I seriously have to say, I’M TIRED, I’M HURTING, and what’s even more scary you don’t care. However, men never ask why. Everything is cause and effect. You hit me I can either cry or punch you. But always understand, there is a cause. Communication is key! We’re in this day and age where being savage is seen as cool and feelings are overrated.

Everyone is too big to express themselves or they don’t have time for that. So what exactly do we have time for? Lying, deceiving, and providing grave confusion? I need to know because at this current place where I’m at. I’m tired of people telling women “play it coy, don’t rush it, be better at weeding out nonsense”. I need all that to stop. How about be better at letting women know your intentions. So, if you’re a full-time fuck boy be that and let it be known, if you’re a full-time human being let us know. And I know someone will say full-time human being. What does that mean? It’s means I’m human, I have flaws from here to Australia however I’m aware of them and take ownership of them. This in no way shape or form means I’m not capable of fucking up. But I acknowledge them. Fuck boys are not humans. They thrive off being dishonest and putting women through pain.

It has to be said, know what you want and say what you want. Do not waste women’s time and when approached to figure out what is going on you ghost. You cowardly hide and nowhere to be found. If you’re not feeling something let someone know, if you’re not trying to date let them know, if you’re in a different space let them know. God created mouths for a reason fingers to type and we’re acting like we don’t know how to use them. I’m superwoman don’t get me wrong.

However, whether it’s biological or personal. I DON’T HAVE TIME! I just don’t. It takes a lot to gather yourself from disappointment. And in some cases, some women don’t. So they carry more excess luggage on top of the one they already carry. I need men to be more honest with their intentions or with why they are leaving. Nothing in life is permanent. However, communication is key and it doesn’t make one weak. It simply means I’m a grown adult in control of my feelings and accountable for my actions. With that being said, say no to ghosting and please don’t wasted my time.